Today, I got up.

"A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu

Tough things are a part my routine (ahem, thank you Crohn’s). As I write, I’m waiting in yet another doctor’s office, which feels like a part-time job of mine. While I wait, I'm reflecting on the sheer amount of effort it can take to accomplish a thing as simple as getting out of bed.

Overnight, I got 7 hours of sleep. Unfortunately, I tossed and turned and got up to go to the bathroom a bunch - so it probably amounts to a total of 4 hours. When my alarm goes off, I snooze it with bone-tired sadness. Ten minutes later, my second alarm goes off, and this time my bowels scream, ‘no more snoozing!’

Today, I got up.

This morning, I’m running late.  I should be hurrying, but all I want to do is crawl back in bed with a heating pad to soothe my pain and my aching joints. Instead, I scramble to take my meds and get ready to face the day.

Today, I got ready.

I walk myself slowly to class. I can’t seem to stay warm no matter how many layers I put on. I sit down, grateful to be done with the walk. My pain is fogging up my brain, but I try to stay focused on the lecture.

Today, I went to class.

After class, I slowly walk myself back home. I try to nourish myself, but I’m nauseous. Still, I know I should eat something. I have a few crackers. That's usually all it is when I'm tired and nauseous.

Today, I ate.

After eating, I lay down to rest before doing homework. When it’s time to get up again, I wish I could sleep straight through the night because my body is begging for it. But there is work to be done, so I grab my books and try think past my discomfort.

Today, I did my homework.

It’s 5:30PM by the time I finish, and I’m spent. I skip dinner, because I’m still nauseous. Instead, I curl up in bed with my heating pad. I close my eyes and hope for a good night’s sleep. I could really use it.

Overnight, I tossed and turned again, not getting enough rest to recharge myself…

The next morning, I will still try to get up…

Some days are like this. Every single task feels huge and exhausting. Sometimes these days line up back to back and I wonder how I manage to keep going. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life. But I have Crohn's AND things I want to accomplish; things that matter to me. It's these things, these goals and dreams and passions of mine, that help me find the strength to get up and get going.

So, today, tomorrow, the next day, I will get up. I will do what I need to do to keep moving forward. It might take every ounce of energy and determination that I have. But, one step at a time, I will get it done.  

And, honestly, there are going to be days where I won’t get up. And that’s OK.

But today, I got up. And I’m proud of it.

--

Stay in the LOOP - sign up for updates and never miss a post! 

Read more post by Natalie on LOOP