My name is Maria and I live in Orlando, FL. In 2004, our family received the devastating news that our oldest daughter had Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. I would have never imagined that a few years later in 2013, we would find ourselves confronted with yet another life altering diagnosis. 

My son was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2014, at the age of 13. Fast forward to 2018, and I am thrilled that he is in remission and a thriving 11th grader juggling AP classes, SATs, extra-curricular activities, college tours, and yes, medication adherence. However, I’m also here to tell you, it has been a journey to achieve and sustain remission. Like so many of you, my mind raced with a litany of questions for days, weeks, and months after his diagnosis…IBD? Ulcerative colitis? What? No cure? How did my son get this? Next, guilt set in and then more questions…Why had I not heard about IBD before his diagnosis? Is this genetic? Was it the foods I prepared? Could I have prevented it? I was so distraught. I could not fix this, not this time.

I am a parent of three children, and all three have Crohn’s disease. My oldest was diagnosed in 2010 and my younger two were both diagnosed at the same time, in 2013. As a parent of one child, let alone three children with IBD, I found life overwhelming, stressful, and mentally and physically draining. Personally, I have found self-care to be a critical piece in coping with the initial diagnosis and the on-going treatment and care of my children. I will be the first to admit I struggle with self-care at times, but at least I have a list:

Holidays are a special time for all. The hustle-and-bustle is paid back in spades as you watch a child’s joy when they unwrap a special gift or when you spend time with extended family. A few years ago, I was given a very special gift at Christmas – one which I will never forget.

A few years ago, I was in a retail chain store and the person in front of me at the cashier asked to use the bathroom. The cashier said, "We do not have a bathroom." So, when it was my turn to cash out I said, “You have a bathroom...you just don't let the public use it?" She answered me, “Yes.” I thought to myself that this would be a great teaching moment.

The ImproveCareNow Registry is a treasure trove of information about patients living with IBD. But, data, like Amazon gift cards, are worthless unless used. And it takes some intrepid, or at least good-with-numbers, Indiana Jones-type researchers to plunge into the depths of the jumble of figures – to put the data to work to answer questions.

This summer marks the six-year anniversary of the beginning of my role as a caregiver for a child with a chronic illness. At times, my daughter’s diagnosis seems so close – and yet so far away. In those six years, she has blossomed from a child into a beautiful young woman. Today she can speak with authority about her care, her medications and her routines. Six years ago, she couldn’t pronounce her medications - let alone tell you the dosing.

It is difficult to understand what it’s like to live with an ostomy, or counsel someone on what to expect, if you’ve never had one yourself. With this challenge in mind my son Tyler and I created Project WOW (Wear an Ostomy for the Weekend) and offered it to attendees at the Fall 2015 ImproveCareNow Community Conference, with the goal of helping people gain some perspective by “walking in patients’ shoes” for the weekend. Recently, at the Spring 2017 Community Conference, we offered Project WOW again, with a few new twists.

Come the end of the year, the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA) organizes Advances in IBD, a medical conference dedicated to topics in IBD research and care. The foremost clinically-oriented IBD meeting in the US, this conference attracts both adult and pediatric clinicians.

Per tradition, Advances in 2016 is held in Florida. And, that is how I found myself in the Magic Kingdom, rubbing shoulders not only with Mickey and Minnie but with the biggest names in IBD. As the parent of a 12 year old child living with Crohn’s disease, I was attending in the hopes of moving beyond the ‘IBD 101’ webinars and the usual CCFA-supported patient educational sessions to gain a higher-level understanding of the issues at the cutting edge of IBD management. If knowledge equals power, I needed to level-up and Advances seemed like the perfect place to do so. Unfortunately, I learned there is no clear path for parents or patients to register for this conference (co-production comes slowly in medicine). But, after some discussion with the good folks at CCFA, I was able to sign-on as a physician (having gone to medical school does come in handy), even though I am neither a gastroenterologist nor an IBD specialist. So, it was as a parent-mole that I sat among the sea of clinicians, feeling a bit like an imposter, and jotting down what I found of greatest interest from the perspective of a person affected directly by IBD. What follows are these observations – admittedly filtered by my personal experiences as #DadofkidwithIBD

I’m Wendy and in addition to being a baby/child sleep coach (I love helping families sleep), I care for my 5 year old daughter who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in September 2016. As we have been adjusting to life with IBD I’ve been journaling how I am spending my time. When our pediatric GI introduced us to ImproveCareNow I wanted to share my story to support others who may be going through a difficult time and to hopefully explain why I may be unintentionally ignoring friends and family.

Here are 29 ways I have been spending my time: